Ridiculous Hip Hop Scenarios - The Game vs Jay-Z Beef

By KNL

For this spanking new piece of TheRapBuzz journalism and play writing (oh yeah), KNL has documented and authored some of the craziest "what if" scenarios for us. In the first hip hop scene, we have The Game and Jay Z discussing their recent beef...get comfortable people, lights down, curtain open...

*Knock on the door*

Jay: Come in!

Game: Wassup You Camel Face Biatch, I been waiting for such a long time and tonight is the night like Deep Cover.

Jay: Look Jayceon...

Game: Uh...uh...uh...didn't you hear my albums trick, my name is Game...address me as the Game...don't forget my name *signals to his assistant*...eh write that down I'm a put that line in my next track.

Jay: Look 'Game'...I don't know why you got a beef with me, I'm just doing my thang...you know I'm too old for this shit. I got a young woman every other rapper wanna jump on, I got a wife every other rapper also wanna jump on, I got 99 problems with my bitches mayn...look at me, I'm wearing slippers and I aint even cut my hair....can't you see I got enough on my plate already.

Game: Nuh...uh Sean, I aint showing you no mercy...I'ma come out with this 'Fuck Jay-Z' thing it's gonna be big...Big like Biggie, the Notorious Biggie from Brooklyn *signals to his assistant* eh-yo write that shit down, I'm a put that name-drop in my next song.

Jay: Look son, I already told you before when you had that shit with Bleek...I don't know why you doing this Game, you really wanna do this?

Game: I'm a just do it like Nike homie *signals to his assistant* eh-yo write that shit down man. You aint even ready, I got like 600 bars for you Jay...I used up 3 of my ink pens I got from my mama, I'm from Compton. I'm from Compton, which is right here *pulls out map*...in LA...you can ask these guys, I Have their numbers...I swear I'm from Compton and I'm a blood...look I got the certificate and everything.

Jay: Look, the whole beef thing, all this shit, I'm done with it...can't you see I'm an old ass man now...I aint got time to do another Takeover dude...you dissing a wall here Game. A wall. I already spoke to Dre, he told me how you turned bi-polar and started crying n shit...

Game: What...

Jay: Yeah son, Andre told me how you starting getting all weird, asking him if he was looking at 50 when your head was turned...he said you accused him of spending too much time with the rest of the guys...he told me how he found your scrap book and diary...he even e-mailed me the entry...look I got it here: "Dear Diary, Day 23 in the Aftermath house. 50 Cent got to use the mic first today, I don't know why Dre let him use it first. I was so excited about it. And then at lunch, 50 took some of my french fries and I complained to Dre, Dre told me to stop whining like a bitch so I went upstairs to my room and now I'm sitting her alone. I sure miss Eazy, I never met him but I feel he is with me at times, in the shower, at nap time. I got to go record Hate it or Love it, hopefully Dre will use my lyrics not 50s...I got like 20 rappers names on Google and put all of their names in my rhyme."

Game: How the fuck did you get that Sean? Where the fuck do you get the balls to read my Diary? Ah I've had it with you Mr. Carter...you make me sick. I'm just...I'm just...I'm just so upset right now. I'm going to call Dre right now.....I'll put it on speakerphone

*Phone rings*....'I'm sorry but this number no longer exists'

Jay: Game. The Game's Over....*signals to his assistant (Drake)*...'eh yo write that down, that's gonna be the Bonus track in my next album.

Game: Please Jay, don't mention this to anyone. I'll do a guest spot for you...look don't you want me on the D.O.A remix...I'll do anything man.

Jay: Well I'll tell you what, just sign this piece of paper here and we can end this write here.

Game: Cool man, eh yo for real...lemme just tell you, you're a great guy...I told 50 before, I said...hey that guy Jay, he's a good guy. I like you Jay. We should hang out.

*signs paper...Jay picks up his phone...*

Jay: Cindy...get Diddy on the line....he just got another rappers career fucked up with a slavery Bad Boy contract...

Game: I'm a be on Bad-Boy....oh my god like Biggie....*signals to assistant* call the guys, call the bloods and call the girls...we are so going to celebrate.

*Game leaves the room...Jay picks up the phone*

Jay: Andre....yeah...he just left....looks like the only time you'll see him on TV next year is Making the Band. See you at Golf.

Applause

More to come people, you like?