Ridiculous Hip Hop Scenarios - The Game vs Jay-Z Beef

By KNL

For this spanking new piece of TheRapBuzz journalism and play writing (oh yeah), KNL has documented and authored some of the craziest "what if" scenarios for us. In the first hip hop scene, we have The Game and Jay Z discussing their recent beef...get comfortable people, lights down, curtain open...

*Knock on the door*

Jay: Come in!

Game: Wassup You Camel Face Biatch, I been waiting for such a long time and tonight is the night like Deep Cover.

Jay: Look Jayceon...

Game: Uh...uh...uh...didn't you hear my albums trick, my name is Game...address me as the Game...don't forget my name *signals to his assistant*...eh write that down I'm a put that line in my next track.

Jay: Look 'Game'...I don't know why you got a beef with me, I'm just doing my thang...you know I'm too old for this shit. I got a young woman every other rapper wanna jump on, I got a wife every other rapper also wanna jump on, I got 99 problems with my bitches mayn...look at me, I'm wearing slippers and I aint even cut my hair....can't you see I got enough on my plate already.

Game: Nuh...uh Sean, I aint showing you no mercy...I'ma come out with this 'Fuck Jay-Z' thing it's gonna be big...Big like Biggie, the Notorious Biggie from Brooklyn *signals to his assistant* eh-yo write that shit down, I'm a put that name-drop in my next song.

Jay: Look son, I already told you before when you had that shit with Bleek...I don't know why you doing this Game, you really wanna do this?

Game: I'm a just do it like Nike homie *signals to his assistant* eh-yo write that shit down man. You aint even ready, I got like 600 bars for you Jay...I used up 3 of my ink pens I got from my mama, I'm from Compton. I'm from Compton, which is right here *pulls out map*...in LA...you can ask these guys, I Have their numbers...I swear I'm from Compton and I'm a blood...look I got the certificate and everything.

Jay: Look, the whole beef thing, all this shit, I'm done with it...can't you see I'm an old ass man now...I aint got time to do another Takeover dude...you dissing a wall here Game. A wall. I already spoke to Dre, he told me how you turned bi-polar and started crying n shit...

Game: What...

Jay: Yeah son, Andre told me how you starting getting all weird, asking him if he was looking at 50 when your head was turned...he said you accused him of spending too much time with the rest of the guys...he told me how he found your scrap book and diary...he even e-mailed me the entry...look I got it here: "Dear Diary, Day 23 in the Aftermath house. 50 Cent got to use the mic first today, I don't know why Dre let him use it first. I was so excited about it. And then at lunch, 50 took some of my french fries and I complained to Dre, Dre told me to stop whining like a bitch so I went upstairs to my room and now I'm sitting her alone. I sure miss Eazy, I never met him but I feel he is with me at times, in the shower, at nap time. I got to go record Hate it or Love it, hopefully Dre will use my lyrics not 50s...I got like 20 rappers names on Google and put all of their names in my rhyme."

Game: How the fuck did you get that Sean? Where the fuck do you get the balls to read my Diary? Ah I've had it with you Mr. Carter...you make me sick. I'm just...I'm just...I'm just so upset right now. I'm going to call Dre right now.....I'll put it on speakerphone

*Phone rings*....'I'm sorry but this number no longer exists'

Jay: Game. The Game's Over....*signals to his assistant (Drake)*...'eh yo write that down, that's gonna be the Bonus track in my next album.

Game: Please Jay, don't mention this to anyone. I'll do a guest spot for you...look don't you want me on the D.O.A remix...I'll do anything man.

Jay: Well I'll tell you what, just sign this piece of paper here and we can end this write here.

Game: Cool man, eh yo for real...lemme just tell you, you're a great guy...I told 50 before, I said...hey that guy Jay, he's a good guy. I like you Jay. We should hang out.

*signs paper...Jay picks up his phone...*

Jay: Cindy...get Diddy on the line....he just got another rappers career fucked up with a slavery Bad Boy contract...

Game: I'm a be on Bad-Boy....oh my god like Biggie....*signals to assistant* call the guys, call the bloods and call the girls...we are so going to celebrate.

*Game leaves the room...Jay picks up the phone*

Jay: Andre....yeah...he just left....looks like the only time you'll see him on TV next year is Making the Band. See you at Golf.

Applause

More to come people, you like?

Rap's Dynamic Duos - Part 2

Image Credit


By KNL

Eric B and Rakim

It's been a long time...Rakim to me is one of the very best, if not a contender for the top spot and not least because of his viscious wordplay and effortless flow. It's more to do with the fact that this guy was gangster without actively promoting it; he didn't have to get tough on the mic because the music took care of it for him...and thus he was able to gather a wider variety of fans than say Mobb Deep, because you could respect him for his skills as well as his gangster. With Eric B alongside, it meant Ra had someone who fully understood what sounded nice when he was on the mic. As a result, this Duo were able to craft some of the most incredible hip-hop anthems; it's a shame they had to part ways...but nevertheless, we can never forget.

GangStarr

Rakim sounded awesome when laced over Premo beats. Someone who sounded even better though was Guru, of whom with Dj Premier formed the formidable GangStarr. Even after 20 something years in the game, Guru can kick it with many of today's top MCs....with an almost effortless flow and a way of spitting aggressive rhymes without having to raise his voice, Guru's flow melts like butter on a hot Premo track. It is often the dream of many hip hop fans to have their favourite producer hook up with a dope MC; GangStarr is one of the very finest examples. Their catalog of incredible albums and sizzling tracks mean GangStarr are firmly forged into hip hop history.

Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg

Following on from pairing a dope producer with a sick MC comes a slightly different pair. Snoop Dogg is not really an MC as such, and neither is Dre...but this pair had something that most of the other duos on this list could only dream about - hit making chemistry which refuses to die. When Snoop Dogg signed up to Death Row in the 90s, Dr. Dre took him under his wing and (cleverly) promoted Snoop through himself and then Executive Produced one of the finest albums of all time, Snoop's 'Doggy Style'. What followed was a string of hits and an incredible catalog of platinum selling albums from the pair. Dre used Snoop's hype on The Chronic and Snoop took advantage of Dre's stellar production on Doggy Style, a few years down the line Dre returned with Chronic 2001 of which once again was heavily graced by Snoop...will Detox be the same? I'm pretty sure we can count on it, with Dre and Snoop both helping each other blow up throughout their careers...I reckon we're all itching to see if that same chemistry still exists. Pay homage.

Dr. Dre and Eminem

Snoop helped propel Dre's Chronic. Em did much the same (if not more) with Chronic 2001. And then surprise surprise, Dre graced Eminem's following LPs with Executive Production credits and guest spots to add that 'legend' status. And why not? Team up arguably the best producer alongside arguably the best rapper and what do you have? A dream come true for any fan of good music...Dre's versatility meant Em could switch the mood of his rhymes depending on the instrumental he'd been handed...and whilst Premo beats (no matter how dope) seem to suit a set tone or mood' Dre's ability to experiment meant Eminem now features an incredible catalog of LPs which vary in terms of moods so much you'd swear they came from a different artist. When these two paired up on the mic, they managed to provide a father-son type chemistry which is still unmatched by many of their imitators - Guilty Conscious, My Name Is, Forgot About Dre....must I go on?!

Part 3 on its' way...